Thursday, January 13, 2011


Last night I went to bed completely overwhelmed. Normally, saying that would probably imply something heavy on my heart, stress, anxiety, etc. And while my heart was definitely heavy, it wasn't heavy with burden... it was heavy with Jesus.

I went to sleep so overwhelmed by Jesus last night.

About six months ago God really began to lay something on my heart concerning ministry. I love what I'm doing. I love where I am. But lately I have had a longing to bring my ministry more focused on girls. Our youth services happen on Wednesday nights and they are broken down into three services. We have a 5th and 6th grade ministry, 7th and 8th grade ministry, and a high school ministry. Normally I have the high schoolers... 9th through 12th grade guys and girls.

And I love it! I love our students. I love working with high school age.  My speaking/teaching style is very conversational. I don't like three point messages. I don't really like handouts and big powerpoint presentations to go along with what I'm saying. I pretty much just talk from the overflow of what God has been teaching me and putting on my heart. I am very transparent and vulnerable when I speak... I just like to get real with the students. But last semester as I spoke every week to about 100 guys and girls, I kept getting this tug in my heart.

As I would talk about a subject that was I was so passionate about, I would look out at the students and my focus would be so much on the girls. I kept seeing the hurt in their eyes, the insecurity, the fear, the guilt, etc. And I know those looks all too well. I have lived those emotions. And all semester I just developed this longing to just have the girls in a room, with no guys, to really talk about those things that we ALL deal with... to expand on my own transparency in ways that I can't with 50 guys listening.

So I went to Shawn at the end of last semester and I just told him what was on my  heart. I explained my vision, shared my heart. We talked about it then spent a couple of weeks praying about where God would lead the next semester. When we met again I was so excited when he said he wanted to give this a shot.

So last night combined the 7th-12th graders and then split the guys and girls up.

I was a little nervous as I was introducing the new series to the girls and sharing my heart with them about why I want to do this and what my goals are for the next seven weeks. At first they were a little weirded out, but I think after I assured them that this was NOT seven week series about sex they were okay.

Actually, they were more than okay.

The response I got the from them was so. stinkin. encouraging! They are so excited and so many of them said, "This is exactly what I've been needing!" Of course it is.. God knew what they needed and He put it in on my heart to meet them right there.

The series I'm doing is called baggage. I think the underlying problem for most girls in middle school and high school is insecurity. But why do we have so much insecurity? Because things happen that hurt us, scare us, confuse us. And as girls, we HOLD. ON. to those things. We remember, and hold on to, every single insult, lie, betrayal, bad look, etc. We can't let go. And we carry those around with us everywhere we go, into every area of life. And that becomes our baggage.

So for seven weeks I'm talking about different types of baggage that comes into our lives as girls that prevents us from loving God and loving people the way He has called us to.

I can't tell you how EXCITED I am to see what all He is going to do in this study!! All I did was introduce the topic last night and I already had girls texting me, messaging me, calling me all night saying that God has already begun to speak to them and work in their lives.

All I can say about that is.. greater things have yet to come!!

I am so thankful for Jesus. I am so thankful that He teaches us and speaks to us and through us. I am so blessed to get to do His work. I am so blessed to learn from Him. I am so blessed to be in His family.


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