Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A letter to my baby about her daddy.


Dear Morgan,

There is a man in your life who is absolutely crazy about you. He can't stop talking about you. Or planning things to do with you. Or asking questions about you. You don't know this yet, but you already have him totally wrapped around your finger. This man is your daddy. Let me just tell you some of the things that are going on with him right now.

I'll be really honest... he wanted a boy. I kept telling him I think you're going to be a girl, but he kept saying, "I just know it's a boy." Truth is, I think he was just scared. The minute he found out you were a girl I thought he was going to pass out. His face was red, his eyes were huge, and right then and there, he melted. Now I think he would just cry if the doctors said there was a mistake and you're actually a boy. He LOVES having a daughter and believe me, he's going to be the best little girl's dad in the world.

Early in the pregnancy we had trouble agreeing on names. (One thing you'll learn is that your dad is the weirdest person I've ever met. And you'll hear me tell him that every day. So he likes lots of really weird names, but don't worry, I had your back on that one.) He was so insistent on picking the name and finding one he loved and he would NEVER settle on one that I picked. But the day he found out you were a girl, I just kind of told him your name. He didn't even hesitate or argue. He loved it. He immediately texted it to me. He was in love. Suddenly, your name did not matter to him... he just loved you. (And I liked that, because I got my way.) He has said your name every day since then. Morgan Noelle.

He has absolutely NO idea how to shop for a little girl, but he wants to so bad. Every time we go shopping he'll pick something up and say, "Hey this is cool, right?" And I'll just kind of give him the, "Oh bless your heart" look because it'll look like an outfit that a baby doll from 1975 would wear. And he has NO idea on sizes. We'll go shopping for some new born outfits and he'll say, "Hey, look at these!" and hold up pants that would fit a four-year-old. He's getting better, though. I'm teaching him how to read sizes and match outfits. But I think we may want to leave him at home when we go prom dress shopping.

He also wants to get you everything! We started our baby registry at Target a couple of weeks ago. He had the little gun and I would point to things to scan and he'd pull the trigger. But sometimes I'd turn around and find him just walking down the isle scanning everything! I would tell him, "Marty... we've already scanned like four of those!" And he'd say, "So? She might need a variety. She can't have too many of these." (He doesn't know this either, but I can edit the registry online so I just let him scan away and went back later and did made a few changes.)

Anywhere we go he talks about how he can't wait to do things with you. We just had Toad Suck Daze last weekend and I can't tell you how many times I heard him say, "I can't wait til we take Morgan to toad suck!" He loves Razorback football and you're supposed to be born right before football season starts, so at least every week he says that he can't wait to dress you in Razorback clothes and watch the games with you and take you to our friends' houses to show you off. He can't wait to take you to the zoo. He can't wait to take you to his grandpa's house to go fishing. My favorite "can't wait for" moment came a few weeks ago. Out of nowhere he got so excited and said, "Hey! I'll get to do daddy daughter dates!" I have a feeling you will have MANY of those!

He's so protective of you, it's hilarious. Sometimes he'll hug me and then suddenly let go really fast and push me back and say, "We're squishing Morgan!" I always lay on my side when I sleep now, but if it even looks like I'm laying on my stomach at all he'll tell me, "You're laying on the baby!" If I have the slightest stomach ache he always asks, "Is the baby ok?" We got your crib all put together and the bedding on it and I was telling him all the rules about not having anything in your crib until you're older. Well, the other day I found my teddy bear I got the day I was born and I went in your room and sat it in your crib. A little while later he went in there and saw it and said, "Hey I thought she couldn't have anything in her crib???" Laughing, I explained that I was only putting it in there for now.

Every night he touches my belly and tells you goodnight. When he leaves the house he says, "Bye Morgan!" Sometimes he kisses my belly or just puts his hand there to feel you (even though we STILL can't feel you moving!).

He tries to act like he's going to be a "tough, scary dad" when it comes to boys. But we all know he won't be intimidating. I can already picture you laughing at him as he tries to sound tough when telling a boy to have you home by 8:30. Actually, your boyfriends will probably be more afraid of me than your dad. But that's okay, right??

My favorite thing about him right now (and this will probably stay my favorite forever) is the way he loves. He loves his parents and his sister and his grandparents so much. His mom is the only person I see him get frustrated with from time to time, but it's only because they are JUST alike! And they are super close. He tries to talk like he's a daddy's boy, but it's so obvious, he's a huge momma's boy. But he sure loves his dad, too. He will stand beside him and defend him and support him until the day he dies, no matter what. I love that. Like any siblings, he doesn't always agree with Aunt Erika, but he sure loves her. The older he gets the more protective he is with her. He wants to make everything right and good for her so bad.

His grandma (Meme) has Alzheimer's and has been in the nursing home for a while now. He is so good at just talking to her and helping her in whatever way  he can. I don't think there's a man in the world he respects more than his grandpa. Almost every single story he's ever told me from his childhood has included them. I love that.

But the thing that amazes me the most is the way he loves me. I know growing up I was always so thankful that my parents loved each other. I want you to know that your daddy loves me more than I deserve to be loved. He loves me with his words (you'll learn very fast that HE'S the cheesy one) and with his actions. He's the first to apologize. The first to compliment. The first to serve. There's nothing in the world he wouldn't do for me and I can talk him into almost anything. He's wrapped around BOTH of our fingers! Because of the way he loves me, I know that he is going to love you with the best fatherly love in the world.

Sometimes during the pregnancy stage the man gets overlooked. No, he's not carrying you and dealing with the back pain, indigestion, headaches, mood swings, big belly, tight clothes, etc. But he is very much a part of this. And I don't want you to look back on this time and not know what he was like. He's not perfect, but you'll think he is. He's mighty close. :)



I love you and he loves you and we are so ready to hold you!

Mommy



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1 comment:

Lindsey said...

Morgan will just treasure this letter when she gets older!